You decide that when you grow up, you want to grow a beard, hunt some animals, and just live life as a certified badass, just like Roosevelt. You have only seen his picture in newspapers, but his glorious moustache and rugged individualist attitude already speak volumes to you. Theodore Roosevelt is your president, and his facial hair seems to be crafted by the gods themselves. To get an idea of how dire this problem is, imagine you are a child in the year 1904. A nation devoid of mutton chops, moustaches, goatees, beards, and other facial hair (if you can even call that a nation) is on the rise, and it is causing some serious personality problems among our future generations. They are encouraged to shave at young ages, and some never even fully realize the true majesty of having facial hair. Without even knowing it, children are being taught at an early age that beards are not a worthwhile investment. When there has not been a bearded president in one hundred years, it sends a pretty obvious message – beards are not the key to success. Thus, the lack of a beard or any facial hair at all on our recent presidents shows a disturbing trend that will affect generations to come. A president will put much thought into his haircut, his suit, his tie, and even his flag lapel pin. What profession is more exclusive and important than the president, after all? It’s obvious that whatever the president says or does carries immense weight, but what is more implicit is his appearance. Kids see our president on television and think that copying the president is a road to success. When a foreign leader meets with the president, he is not just meeting with a single man – no, he is meeting with the United States of America. Furthermore, he is seen as an ambassador of our country to foreign nations. The president serves as a role model for our children and our future leaders. So why is it important that our president have facial hair? It’s simple, really. When you see a man with a beard, you see a man of great wisdom. In fact, William Shakespeare once mused, “He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man” (qtd in “Beard Quotes”). Yet despite this, I am warm, friendly, and welcoming. Not only do I look good, but I can have a tough side too. My worth as a man is substantial, and my virility levels are off the charts. A well-maintained beard, moustache, or goatee can provide quite a strong message, especially when used by a figure in power. What is more pressing is the damage that this death of the beard is doing to our society and to our international presence.īefore we discuss the impact of a long line of clean-shaven presidents on us, we must first establish the importance of facial hair. The cause of the loss of prominence of the beard is not an issue of concern, however. Additionally, there have only been two major candidates in the past eighty eight years who have had any facial hair at all (Whyte)! The cause of this decline in beards could be attributable to many things – fashion trends over the years, advents in shaving technology, or perhaps women decided that they preferred a man’s face to be like his bottom: silky smooth and with two cheeks. In fact, the United States of America has not seen a president with even a whisker on his face since William Howard Taft in 1908. True, many still sport a grizzly set of mutton chops or even a goatee, but in the public eye, beards are now frowned upon. Once thought to be a cornerstone of high American society and almost essential to every man, beards and other facial hair have been on a steady decline in the last century or so. Y’all have a fun and safe weekend.īeards. It’s still funny four and a half years later. This paper was written by Onward State co-founder Evan Kalikow for his English 30 class.
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